I'm sorry

I know I've been naive and immature..
Maybe sometimes I'm just trying to protect myself..
But its just an excuse right..
I always thought been stubborn is to protect myself..
But unfortunately I'm wrong.. sorry..

I'm just keep hurting u.. and hurt myself..
Seriously I started don't understand myself..
What I really want and what I want to get by doing all these things..
I know I'm a failure.. a fail gf..
Or maybe I don't have qualification to say that I'm ur gf..

I know u're tired.. I'm tired too..
But we won't give up right..
Coz we know we have future..
Just that my immature cause us so tired..
I'm sorry..
For being stubborn..
I'm sorry..
For hurting u always..
But I hope u know it doesn't mean I don't love u..
I love u.. very very much..
Just that maybe I don't know what's the right way to love a person..

Mooncake festival ceremony should be a happy date right..
But just because of ME, THE STUPID STUBBORN IDIOTIC ME..
Ruin this special date.. I HATE MYSELF..
Yea u're right for raising ur voice on me..
You're right for shaking me hardly with ur hands..
Coz I deserve it.. I'm just.. a bad gf..

Isn't it funny that I know I'm very bad and I still don't want to give up on him?
I know I end up by hurting him but I just want to try to change myself..
Recently I've been changing myself a lot..
You've seen it and you're happy abt it..
But its still not enough.. I still hurt u..
Why am I this kind of person..
I really feel like killing myself..
I mean the bad side of me..
You love me.. very very much..
But does it worth it...?
I don't know..
But I hope someday I can feel its worth for u to love me..

I need time to change myself..
Or maybe its true that I'm still an immature teenager..
Sorry for all those troubles that I cause in your life..
But bringing sweet memories for u makes me happy..
Like u said the best memories is ur 16 years old birthday..
No one ever celebrate and take ur birthday so important..
I just want to say to me, if its not because of ur birthday,
This minute this second I'm not ur gf.. and u're not here with me..
But seriously I'm not the kind of girl who will only give u surprises once in blue moon..
I always do.. just to make u happy..
Although u said I don't need to..
I love u, Chris...
I really do...

I will appreciate u,
The best man I ever met in my life..
I don't hope someday I'll have the feeling of Taylor Swift's Back To December..
I don't want to do things that makes me feel very regret..
I don't want to lose u.. never ever wanted to lose u..
U said u trust me..
And I suppose I shouldn't let u disappointed anymore..

Sorry dear,
I know I'm bad but I promise I'll turn myself into the girl who has the qualification to have u..
And I hope u to know,
I don't need a handsome bf,
I don't need a singer bf,
I don't need a model bf,
I don't need a genius bf,
I don't need a rich bf..
All I need is a bf who truely loves me..
That's all..
So u don't have to feel bad about urself..
To me, u're one in a million..

I need to say thanks to those haters who make me strong,
That's why I can stand up and wanted to change myself into the angel girl u love..
Sorry dear for making u disappointed..
I promise, not trying but I will change myself into the girl u want..

I'm sorry, I love you..